I remember one Halloween...

the exact model and color of what my old car looked like

(in 2003) I was driving my car headed back home from Walgreens (Walgreens has no relevance to the story, but nevertheless...). I was approaching the complex of where I lived and out of no where, in my peripheral, I pass a small group of kids followed by a large brick (that has been throwin by some white kids..just wait before you think I'm doggin on white folk..I luuuvs you white folk ;), I digress. A large brick has been thrown towards my car, hits my windshield and I slam on my breaks because I can no longer see. Not to mention, I had to get out of the car so I could whoop whose ever ass I needed to whoop. My ENTIRE windshield was DESTROYED...smdh. My first reaction is disbelief. Like really, D.I.S.belief. I jumped out of my car and someone shouted "Oh shit, she's black!" (I swear to you that's what was said) and the lot of them ran like the dickens (yup, I say that). I'm guessing it was my butch like attire that scared them off:

wife beater:check

bandana:check

no makeup:check

baggy sweats:check

doodoo braids (like the "Freddie Jackson" looking chick in Friday that Smokey went on a date with):check

Oh yea and the "black thing"

Needless to say they were scared...as they should have been.

I drove the rest of the way home with my head hanging out of the driver side. Bess believe, I was driving home to tell my cousin what happened, have her put on her "butch gear" while cussin' and swearing up a  mountain we was gonna' get Mookie 'dem on their asses...

...we don't know a Mookie.

We didn't call the cops, we didn't "observe the damages", we jumped back in the car and went looking

 for the bastards. We drove around for about 15 minutes, when we came up on a white boy dressed in black (as they were), by himself.

He looked terrified when we pulled up next to him.

me: "Where you just with a group of kids earlier on?!"

"No ma'am."

my cousin: "Do I look like a ma'am to you?"

"No." 

me: "Are you SURE you weren't with those kids earlier?!

paused in terror

me: "Hey!!"

"No, I swear."

(side eye) "You go and tell your little ass friends if I ever catch them out here, in this neighborhood, it's gonna be a problem."

Went home and called the police.

LMAO.

That's really all you have to do in a middle class, mostly white neighborhood...is make them THINK you're "hood". I'm not really.

Honestly.

Moral of the story? Don't f**k with black people and their BMW's.